I haven’t written anything for absolutely ages again. Not that there has been a great amount to tell really.

There has been progress with getting a diagnosis for Millie. She’s being statemented and is going to be re-assessed later in the year. She’s going to the school we hoped she would get into which is smaller than the other option and has a very good SEN provision. So things are positive on that front.

All the other children are fine. Amos is now 2 - it’s gone by so quickly. He’s such a sweet little thing most of the time (yes, he has his moments!!) and is getting really chatty. He loves In The Night Garden, and would sit and watch it all day if he could. He loves his books as well which is really cute.

Jack (6) was assessed recently and has a reading age of an 11.5 year old. Alfie and Sophie are both ahead of where they should be too which is fantastic.

We’ve really settled into the “new” house now as well which is nice. At the moment I’m thinking we’re going to be here for a good few years.

Last week I went up to Manchester for a few days which was a nice break. I stayed in a really nice apartment just off Deansgate so nice and close to the centre of the city. I met up with my best friend from school. We havent seen each other for 17 years, and fell out back then over something or other. We got back in touch a couple of years ago through Friends Reunited and finally met up again last week.

I met her in a Starbucks and when she walked in neither of us spoke, we just gave each other a massive hug and burst into tears. Most of the day was spent with us hugging, crying and saying “I can’t believe it”. It was lovely, and we have vowed that it won’t be another 17 years before we get together again. It didn’t feel like 17 years, we sat and just chatted easily as if it had only been last week that we’d last seen each other.

Well, what a year!!

I’ve just read the postings for January 2010, before everything changed, and I really had no idea just what a massive year it was going to be for my life.

It’s been amazing. It’s been tough at times too, but I don’t regret my decision. I’m looking forward to 2011 and hope it’s going to be even better.

Christmas was good - C came over for the day and it was a lovely day for everyone I hope. No fighting or arguing, just a really nice family day.

I hope your 2011 is a good one and I will try and blog at least semi-regularly!!

Dressember

There's a group of us taking part in a challenge called Dressember. The idea is to wear a dress (or skirt) every day in December. If you'd like to find out more, or better still join us, have a look here: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Dressember/125734977487362


I've set up another blog to chart my progress in the challenge as well as to post about other clothes, shoes etc (basically girly stuff) in the future. You can find it here: http://tuesdayshoesday.blogspot.com/

When I moved out of the marital home we were really surprised at how well Millie had taken it all. I’d expected her to react badly to the changes but she seemed to be absolutely fine. And when she went back to school all seemed well too.

Of course, it didn’t last! Her behaviour has got worse and worse. Her meltdowns became more frequent and I was seeing a lot more of her “behaviours” at home. Meltdowns are starting first thing in the morning and she is spending a lot of time out of the classroom because she can’t cope with being in there. It’s awful to see her the way she’s gone. School are fantastic, she has a one to one who spends a lot of time with her and they have a table set up in the corridor outside the classroom for her with colouring, pens, plasticine etc for her. But it’s getting to the point where they can’t cope either and she’s coming home at lunchtime when her one to one goes home.

I took her to the doctors to ask them to refer her again to try and get a diagnosis. The school wrote a letter to back up the request as well. We have an appointment on 1st December and the one to one is going to come with us as well to explain what happens at school which I obviously don’t see.

She’s also got the ed psych going into school to see her to give his opinion. Someone from Autism Outreach saw her at school - she had said that she wasn’t able to offer any help until Millie had a diagnosis but then Millie had one of her meltdowns and she said that she would unofficially help out because it was obvious she had autism.

So, at the moment things are looking positive. Hopefully this time we will get a diagnosis. We’re also going to look at a potential secondary school for her next week - its smaller than the one she would normally go to (where my others go) and has a SEN unit that will hopefully be good for her as she wouldn’t cope in a normal sized secondary school.

In other news, I had a very minor car accident the other day. Not my fault, the other driver was in front of me and moved over to the other side of the road so I went to pass him and he suddenly started reversing and hit the side of me wrecking the side of my car. As it happened on the road I used to live I got C to drive me back home and as we were on our way we passed the man again and he did exactly the same thing - pulled over then suddenly reversed. He obviously doesn’t bother to look. Fortunately he missed us - can you imagine ringing the insurance company to tell them that the same bloke had hit me in exactly the same way just in a different car!!

The insurance company has provided me with a replacement until mine is fixed - a top of the range Landrover Discovery. Oh. My. God. It is amazing!!!! I love it and don’t want to give it back. I’ve had compliments on it wherever I’ve been. The kids love it too. I decided to have a look online to see how much one would be second hand. Now, I knew it would be out of my price range but I was totally shocked when I discovered it would be nearly £50k!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope my car takes months to get sorted out!

I’m sorry, I’m terrible at keeping this blog thing up to date aren’t I? I wish I was more disciplined and could write more often. It’s not as if I don’t often think of things to post but never get round to writing them.

So, what’s been happening since I last wrote? We’ve settled in to the new house really well. There are things I still have to buy. I was hoping to get beds for the children who need them this month (some of them are sleeping on airbeds at the moment) but once again they’ve had to go on hold as I’m going to have to buy oil for the heating instead, next month the car needs MOT-ing and taxing, then it’s Christmas…. This budgeting lark isn’t easy. I’m determined not to use any credit for anything so things have to wait, and it’s quite hard. Yes, I’m finally learning to live in the real world!!

It’s not easy this single parenthood lark. Some days it all gets a bit overwhelming, being totally responsible for everything and everyone. It would be so nice to be able to delegate some of it to someone else. To be able to pass some of the weight of it all over to someone else. I have a couple of very good friends that I can talk to, one who has been through a very similar situation and the other is just a very good friend who is always full of good advice and ready with a hug when I need one.

Most of the time though I love it, I love the independence and the possibilities that my life now has ahead of me. I don’t ever regret my decision - sometimes I think maybe I wouldn’t have done it if I’d known how hard it was when I’m having a bad day and feeling the pressure, but then I really don’t want my old life back either so I‘m glad I didn’t know. I don’t want to go back to constantly feeling the way I always did, or being married to someone who looks like a tramp and takes absolutely no care in how he looks (which I always felt was disrespectful).

I enjoy being single, and all the fun that comes from going out and enjoying myself. In some ways I’ve been given the chance to have the youth that I missed out on back as I was only 19 when I had my first child.

In other news - Millie is at the forefront of my mind at the moment. I’m trying again to get a diagnosis for her so we can access the help that’s available out there for her. I have had to apply for her secondary school place and it’s not been an easy decision like it was with the others. Her current school don’t think she will cope well in a mainstream secondary school (and I certainly don’t think she will) so I’m applying to a smaller school that has a SEN unit that I hope she will be able to achieve her potential. No, home education isn’t an option. End of.

I’m still going to the gym lots and still really enjoying it. I train with my personal trainer twice a week and am hoping to reach my target of being a size 8 before Christmas. I lost my focus with the diet when I moved and it’s taken me until last week to get it back but I am so determined I am going to do it that I will hopefully be posting here very soon that I reached my goal.

A blog I love

I used to read lots of blogs but over time I've stopped reading many of them. This is one of my favourites though: http://andyinamsterdam.com/?p=778 I love the way he writes, he almost always makes me laugh (except when he is being serious), I would love to meet him for an evening of knitting. If I ever go back to Amsterdam I am definately going to find out which knitting group he goes to and go along. And if you're reading this Andy, I promise I'm not a crazy mad stalker!! :-)

For a while now I have alluded to something going on in my life that I couldn’t really talk about then. But now I can.

I’ve said before about blogs only showing the side of the writers life that they want you to see and that while the reader may be imagining a wonderfully rosy life where everything is perfect (and wishing theirs was so) I’m sure that often it isn’t as shiny as it seems.

I have no idea what kind of image my blog portrays of my life, it’s hard to know when you’re the one writing, but if any of you readers has thought my life is wonderful and perfect with all my lovely children then you’re mistaken.

In February I split up with my husband. Yes, after 17 years of marriage I couldn’t live as unhappily as I was any longer and I told him it was over. We lived in the same house until about 3 weeks ago when I moved out into my own place. I am loving the new pad, I love being able to relax, to live life the way I want to and not have to worry about anyone else (apart from the children of course).

The children love the new house too. We have a huge garden for them to run round in and there are horses in the field behind the house which has delighted the girls no end. They keep asking me to make friends with the owners in the hopes they will be allowed to stroke them.

It’s not all been easy. There has been an awful lot for me to sort out all by myself which was a daunting task at first but as I have done each thing I have felt a mounting sense of pride and achievement (who knew that sorting out house insurance all by yourself could be so exciting???) Sometimes it has felt that it would be so much easier not to move, to just let things carry on the way they were, but with the encouragement and help of a special friend I have done it and am so glad I have.

So, I am now a single mother of 8 and looking forward to the next chapter of my life.

And in case you’re wondering, things are pretty amicable between me and the ex. Yes, we have our flare ups but on the whole things are good and I hope they stay that way, for the sake of the children if nothing else. I hope we can remain friends as it will make life so much more pleasant.