Ooops, I did it again, went a few weeks without posting anything.  It's been quite a busy month since I last posted.  I had an assignment to submit to the OU which I got back with an excellent mark so I am really pleased.  My next one is due in next week so that's that I'm getting on with this week.


I said in my last post that G had introduced me to one of his hobbies, well, since then he has introduced me to another one.


The first one is Lindy Hop dancing, which, despite me always believing I have two left feet, I really really enjoy.  I love the fact that it's freestyle so as long as you know the various moves you can join in, and you don't even need to know all of the moves before you get can get going with it.  I also love the whole scene around it as well, especially the dressing up in period clothes.  G dresses up in a 40's style so that's what I'm going for when we go to my first proper dance.


The second is slightly more scary - he has a motorbike and promised to take me out on it when the weather improved.  When I got a text last week asking if I fancied a run out I said yes please and then realised when he told me to wear jeans and pumps that he didn't mean in the car.....  


My first fear was the helmet - I'm quite claustrophobic so wearing something tight around my head was scary enough, but when he closed the visor I felt like I couldn't breathe so had a small panic.  


Once I was all kitted out in helmet, jacket and gloves (and starting to cook slowly in the heat under all that thick clothing) off we went - visor open!! - I have to admit to being absolutely terrified and screamed he was going too fast.  Apparently we hadn't even reached 20mph....


The plan was to go up to Skegness for a coffee but I really didn't think I could make it that far.  However, I didn't say anything and by the time we got there I was actually enjoying myself and didn't feel quite so convinced I was going to go flying off the back every time he accelerated.


Going round the bends was really scary - how the hell do you not fall off when you're leaning over so close to the road????????


I now can't wait til we go out again on the bike, I've been promised a longer ride along faster roads...


Oh, and I very quickly shut the visor after getting fed up of the wind in my face and it was fine as the breeze blew through the helmet and I knew I could still breathe properly.


I loved it so much I am now considering getting my own kit!!


So, that's another two things to add to my list of "new things I have done" that I started last year (I forgot to mention I had two tattoos done last year didn't I?  Number three is being saved up for as we speak!!)

That Friday feeling

Friday is my favourite day of the week.  The children are home for the weekend, there's the thrill of not having to get up and out for two mornings (three this weekend as it's a Bank Holiday), the chance to enjoy a relaxed couple of days doing not a lot and just spending time together without having to be anywhere - unless of course we have a trip planned.


The last couple of weeks have been fairly busy.  Last week I was really ill with a sickness bug I think I picked up from one of the children.  I ended up staying at home all week as it totally wiped me out but that did give me the chance to get some work on my latest assignment done for my OU module.  I got the rest of it done this week and it's all been submitted a whole 10 days early which is a really nice feeling.


We didn't do anything last weekend as the weather was so foul and just spent the time chilling out in front of a lovely log (and coal) fire.


This week, as well as managing to get my assignment finished I also worked my way through the next chapter of my course materials - we're given a study planner as a guide to where we should be up to each week and the course materials are divided into chapters, the idea being you study a chapter a week. I had fallen a few weeks behind with having two modules running side by side but I have now caught up with myself and now I'm hoping to get myself a couple of weeks ahead of schedule.


My latest hobby is Lindy Hop dancing and I went to my dance class with G this week.  I really enjoy it and it's great to be able to share a hobby with the person you're in a relationship with.  He's been dancing for years so is really good at it but is fortunately very patient when it comes to practising between classes.  I've never been very co-ordinated and always thought of myself as having two left feet - anyone who has seen me in a step or aerobics class will vouch for that!! - but I seem to be able to manage Lindy really well.  I started Zumba classes at the gym just after Christmas and I'm not too bad at that either.


I love the whole lifestyle thing about Lindy as well, the clothes, the music etc.  I've always loved the music from the 30's and 40's, the big bands and the swing music and I love the style of the 40's.  Maybe if I grow my hair again I'll start sporting a victory roll!!


Another of the great things about Friday mornings is that as I usually stay over at G's on a Thursday night I usually get coffee and toast brought to me in bed which makes a nice change (it even makes up for the fact that his job means we're up at stupid o'clock!!)  He took delivery of some chicks two days ago so I went in to see them today - well, yesterday, as it's now 3am on Saturday morning - if you thought 3 day old chicks were cute, just imagine 12,500 of them!!!!  The noise was almost deafening but ohhhh, they were just soooo sweet!!  No, I couldn't resist picking one up to see if they really are as soft and fluffy as they look, and yes they are.  The children are most disappointed I didn't smuggle a few out in my pocket!!


Sorry there's no photos again this post.  I promise I will make more of an effort to add some in future. :-)

It’s Millie’s 12^th birthday today, where did the time go??  We had a little tea party for her last night which they all seemed to enjoy.  It was lovely to see her face when she saw that she had some more presents.  As I couldn’t decide which cake to buy her I ended up getting her two, one of which they had last night and the other one I’m going to save until the weekend.

Another bit of nice news from me is that I’ve been seeing someone new since January.  We actually met last year at my best friend’s wedding but were both seeing other people so it didn’t cross my mind that we would become an item.  It was only when we met again at the Groom’s birthday do in January that we ended up getting together as we were both single again.

He’s lovely, really kind, and not one of those arrogant men who can’t admit they are wrong and have to be right all the time or who can’t admit to not knowing something.

We’re both really busy with our own lives – I have the children, my OU course, the gym etc. and he has work, his son and all of his other interests – so we’re not in each other’s pockets and always round at each other’s houses at every possible moment.  Before I met him again I’d actually made a conscious decision to stay single (I really must do a blog entry with all my dating stories, my nail technician says I should write a book with them all because some of them are hilarious) because the men I’d gone out with all wanted to spend more time with me than I did with them.  I’ve got so used to having my time to myself when the children are at their dad’s I really don’t want to give it up for anyone.  I love my evenings on my own where I put my PJs on about 6pm and either curl up on the sofa with the TV programmes I’ve recorded or in bed with a load of reading material.  I also just didn’t want the complications of a relationship getting in the way of my OU course either.

So we see each other once a week, sometimes twice, and it’s really nice that we’ve got loads to talk about.  He introduced me to one of his hobbies last week which I really enjoyed (more on that in a later post!). 

One of the disadvantages of his job is the early mornings though!!  I am soooo not a morning person and I don’t think I ever will be.  He owns a farm and when I stay over his alarm goes off before 7am and if that hasn’t woken me up the farm machinery outside is guaranteed to.  As a child I always wished I lived on a farm and now I have to admit I am really glad I don’t!!   It was nice to wake up there on Easter Monday morning and not only not have to get up at stupid o’clock but also for there to be total silence as well.  As he had no work that day we spent a lovely morning just chilling out, watching TV, drinking coffee and eating hot cross buns.  J

There is an advantage to the stupidly early mornings though, it does mean I can shock my bestie by turning up mega early for things when she is used to me being late.  We’d arranged to meet in Costa one morning and she walked straight past at ten past nine thinking there was no way on earth I would be there at that time.  I was well chuffed to show off my receipt that said I was served at ten to nine!! Lol

Another advantage is the fresh eggs for nothing, without the hassle of actually keeping the hens yourself.

So with that and everything else going on in my life right now I’m really happy.  Maybe that should be the topic of another entry?  The secret of how I found true happiness??  Watch this space…..  ;-)

Birthdays

It’s been a lovely weekend here at home.  Saturday was Beth’s 19^th birthday which made me feel very old as I was 19 when I had her.  I could be a grandma now!!!  That is a very scary thought!!

We had a little party for her on Friday evening as is customary, and she had her (also customary) black forest gateaux (which didn’t get dropped on the floor, one custom I am quite happy not to continue!!).  She seemed really pleased with it and wasn’t too disappointed that her presents hadn’t arrived in time.  Hopefully they will turn up sometime this week as I ordered them back at the beginning of the month.  I did get her an e-voucher for Nintendo which was in her card so she has something, and then she has to wait until August for the fourth item as it isn’t released until then.

On Saturday afternoon I had a quick run into town with Ellie and Sophie, partly to get Millie’s birthday presents and partly to try and cheer Ellie up a bit as she had some devastating news in the week and was very upset on Saturday morning.  A wander round the shops and a hot chocolate and cake in Costa seemed to help a little.

Sunday was a lovely lazy day.  The weather has been appalling recently so I stocked up on firewood on Friday and we’ve had the fire burning most of the weekend.  We didn’t bother to get dressed today and just chilled out for the day and ate hot cross buns. 

Tomorrow it’s going to be Millie’s birthday tea after school.  Her birthday is actually on Tuesday but she’ll be at her dad’s on Tuesday evening so she’s having her birthday here a day early.  After a lot of whinging I let her have her presents this evening and she was delighted with them.  It now gives me the dilemma – do I give her the ones I still have hidden away or not bother????  Actually, it doesn’t really, I can’t wait to see her little face when I get them out for her tomorrow as she now thinks she’s had everything she’s getting…..  J

I said in my last post that lots of things has happened since my previous post way back in September.  Well, one really big thing is I have started a degree with the Open University.  For the purposes of transitional fees (because I started studying before the fees went up I am eligible for my fees for the next 6 year to stay at the current rate and not have to pay the increased fees) I have had to declare exactly what degree I am doing.  Hopefully I’m not going to change my mind, but I am doing – fanfare please – a BA (Hon) History degree!!

I signed up in August last year to do an Openings module which is aimed at people like me who have not studied for a long time and who need an introduction to University level study, particularly with the OU.  I was slightly nervous, years of being made to feel like I’m stupid and having my confidence eroded had left me thinking there was no way I could do something like this.  I can’t remember what it was now that prompted me to do it but whatever it was, I decided to get myself signed up before I could talk my way out of it again.

I did Y180 Making Sense of the Arts and thoroughly enjoyed it.  It was a lot easier than I expected, not nearly as scary as I thought it would be and was fantastic for my self-confidence.  The main thing it taught me was that yes, I bloody well can do it and no, I’m not stupid at all.

I’m currently doing a level one module (equivalent to the first year of a degree) and have just registered for my next module, a level two based on the rather wide period of 1400-1900 which I’m really looking forward to starting in September. 

If someone had told me a year ago that in 12 months time I’d have signed up for a degree and would be part way through my second module I would never have believed them!  What a difference a year makes!! J

Oh dear, once again I have gone months and months without writing anything again. Having just checked it’s been seven whole months and quite a lot has happened here since then. So much so that I’m going to split it down into several posts rather than one long one and then I’ll have something to post over several days in the hopes that I’ll get into the habit of writing more regularly.

So, where to start?? Well, the Easter holidays have just finished. They went really fast as I had the children for the first week and then they went to stay with their dad for a week. We didn’t do a huge amount although one day I took the children (apart from the eldest two) to Cadbury’s World. Jack’s first reaction when we got there was “why have you brought us here??? I hate chocolate!!” and Alfie just informed me that “chocolate isn’t healthy”. Hmmmmm. Funnily enough though, both were quite happy to tuck into the “free” chocolate we were given although they weren’t quite so keen on the little pots of warm melted chocolate. Unfortunately this meant I had to finish them off for them…. Oh, it’s a tough life being a mum isn’t it???? LOL

They really enjoyed the day out there but it was a shame the weather was so appalling as it meant they couldn’t go on the outdoor playground which looked fantastic. I have to admit though, I’m glad it only cost me £6.80 to get in (thanks to Tesco!!) as I don’t think it was worth the full price for the tickets. I’m sure that when I went about 15 years ago they gave us about 5 bars of chocolate as we went round, this time we got 3.

The older two have a trip promised for later on in the year which I’m really looking forward to taking them on.

On Monday we went to Belton House as there is a large adventure playground there and my friend has told me how good it is. I found a special offer to join the National Trust and better still went through a cash back website so I’ve “saved” a bit more money. The children loved it and we spent a couple of hours there while they went off and had fun and a couple of rides on the little train. Definitely somewhere we will be returning to several more times over the year, and there are quite a few NT properties I’d like to go and visit by myself as well that I know the children wouldn’t really enjoy.

All of the children are doing really well. Jack and Sophie have both been moved up to the next classes at school because they’re so far ahead of where they should be. The old A-word (autism) has reared its head with Millie again so that might all start up again.

Little Amos is just a little darling. He was 3 in February and has recently amazed me by learning to spell his name and “mum” on my laptop. I thought it was just a case of him knowing where the letters are on the keyboard but then I bought him a tub of letters for the bath and he loves sorting through them and finding the correct letters for both words. He’s also got a set of alphablocks letters (a Cbeebies series) and he loves those too, and knows all the sounds. He makes me laugh with the things he says as well, he’s such a funny little fellow and a really cheeky little character.

The cash back website I mentioned earlier is below. It’s brilliant and I really do highly recommend it. They don’t charge any fees so you get all the cash back and if you take it as Amazon vouchers you get an extra 10%!! What’s not to love??

I thought I'd post a nice update with some photos tonight. As I mentioned in a previous entry me and the girls have been having riding lessons and are loving it. I ride a horse called Morris and I love him. So much so I even find myself feeling jealous when I take Sophie up there for her lessons and see someone else on him.

Sophie loves riding Misty and Ellie loves Mini Murphy.

Our dream now is to own our own pony which at the moment isn't something that I can afford to do so I'm looking into loaning a pony. Finger crossed......

I suppose blogs are the modern day equivalent of paper diaries, the main difference being that by putting it online you know other people will read it. However, just like the “secret diaries” of old, if you go reading someone else’s and you see something about yourself that you don’t like then it serves you right for being nosey (unless the writer specifically asked you to read it).

Blogs and diaries are a place for the writer to vent if they need to. I will write whatever I like about whoever I like. If I want to vent about someone or something then I will. There are only a handful of people who were invited to read my blog, and there are a few friends who have come to the blog in other ways and you are all welcome. Maybe you’ve found the blog by accident? Then you’re welcome here too. But maybe you are one of the few who have found the blog and read it simply to find out what I am saying, and to find out if I’m writing about them. You (and you know exactly who you are) are not welcome here. Just like listening in to a private conversation you might hear things you don’t like and if you do, well, you shouldn’t have been earwigging so you have no right to go running back to anyone crying that “Lucie said this about me, boo hoo, isn’t she horrible???”

Nor do you have any right to go bringing up things from my blog from the past that have nothing to do with you.

Now, if you’re reading this and wondering what the hell I’m on about then you can be safe in the knowledge I’m not talking about you. If you’re reading this and you do know exactly what I’m talking about then you read on at your peril.

I split up with my ex nearly 2 years ago. Things hadn’t been going well for a long time and we were both unhappy long before I told him it was over. Things were very unpleasant at first. Despite the effort to be civil to each other for the sake of the children the tension and nastiness didn’t always stay under the surface and we both said stuff to hurt and upset the other. And we both said stuff to other people about the other that wasn’t nice. He told some really awful lies about me in emails etc to the various women he was in contact with last year such as that I had had affairs and wasn’t to be trusted to look after my own children. All total and utter rubbish but he said them because he wanted to hurt me.

However things have improved massively and I think we can both now say we are genuinely friends with the other. The nastiness is behind us. We’ve closed the door on it and moved on as we are both adults. It’s nothing to do with anyone else and it’s not something that either of us are going to bring up and most certainly not use it as ammunition in an argument which would be incredibly childish of us wouldn’t it? And it would be incredibly childish and totally inappropriate of someone else to bring it up wouldn’t it?????

Both of us have moved on in our lives. We’ve both had other relationships. He has been seeing someone for about a year now and I have never had a problem with that. There have been a number of things that I could have kicked up a fuss about but I never have because I haven’t wanted to cause trouble.

Despite the fact that we are no longer together the biggest thing that we both agree on and are both adamant about is that the children are our number one priority. They come first. They come before anything or anyone else. New partners included!! And as part of that, to ensure they are happy and to help them accept the situation, he and I are determined to stay on the best terms we can. That means we are friends. We’ll chat, we’re there for each other if one of us is ill or needs help or whatever. We went for a meal for my birthday the other week.

We were together for 18 years, you can’t be together for that long and not care about each other. Not in any way other than as friends. You care about your friends don’t you? It doesn’t mean you want to sleep with them does it? It means nothing other than you care about them.

Unfortunately a certain person doesn’t like this. She doesn’t like me and C being friends. She doesn’t care about our children’s feelings or their welfare. She doesn’t care that the best thing for them is that their parents are friends. She doesn’t like that they come first to their father. If she didn’t have a child of her own you could maybe understand her not being able to see that children are the priority but she does have a child herself - although from what I can gather she spends very little time with him and is quite happy to dump him off on other people so she can do her own thing - so maybe doesn’t have that maternal instinct that most other women have.

C added me as a friend on facebook. Now I may be wrong but surely he has the right to be friends with whoever he likes on there including his ex? Obviously not, judging by the fuss that kicked off which got even worse when C and I became neighbours in the Sims game on there. Now I have to admit I’m not really into games so wouldn’t normally have started playing something on Facebook but the children were desperate for me to play something with them and I couldn’t work out how to play Horse Academy so The Sims it was. I’m going to assume that you know the game and that you go and visit your neighbours and become friends with them and send them items they need etc etc all as part of the game.

So, I’m playing it and all is quiet until C tells me there has been an almighty row over me sending him a request in the game. Apparently it means I want to get back together with him. Does the fact I am “dating” my 8 year old daughter in the game mean I want an incestuous relationship with her??? No!! Of course it doesn’t. and I sent the same request to my 15 year old son. Again does it mean anything more than just being part of a facebook game??? No.

Notice I keep mentioning the word “game” over and again. This person obviously spends so much time on her computer that she cannot tell the difference between a game (which isn’t real) and the big wide world outside her bedroom which is real. She’s obviously very immature mentally because she spends so much time playing games and she is in her 40’s (I’m not sure exactly how old but judging from what I have seen of her I would say mid to late 40s). Most women have more important things to do than playing computer games don’t they? Real life means there is washing and housework, shopping and cooking etc to do. Mind you, she still lives with her parents which is quite worrying as well at that age. C hasn't said much to me about it but from what he has said I think she has some serious mental issues which make me concerned about the safety of my children.

So, for a quiet life C leaves the game and unfriends me again. How ridiculous is that? That he can’t be friends with who he likes or play a game he wants to play because of her immaturity and jealousy. And yet she claimed that she doesn’t have a problem with him being friends or talking to whoever he likes….. Er, yeah, whatever love.

Now surely that should have been the end of it? Ohhh no. She then decides to slag me off on her facebook account which I would probably have been totally oblivious to had it not been for the fact she was friends with my children on facebook and one of them had left the computer logged into her facebook account and it was there in the middle of the screen in her news feed.

Now, by all means slag me off on facebook but NOT where my children can see it. What kind of a person does something like that??? She has already upset them loads with stuff she has posted on there. I've had enough of seeing them upset by her. Whatever problem you have with someone you keep it away from their children. Again, it shows how immature and insensitive she is.

All this time I’ve kept quiet. I’d told C how ridiculous I thought she was being over the game, but seeing her post on FB was the final straw so I put something on my FB that she would only see if she was snooping around looking at my profile as it was set to private until that point and I made this particular post public. And yes, she was of course snooping around. What did I say at the start of this post about being nosey?? You’ll likely hear or see something about yourself that you don’t like. And off she goes, kicking off again.

So C has a go at her about it, tells her not to go looking at my profile and to stop trying to cause trouble. He has got health issues at the moment and asked her to keep things calm for him at the moment because the last thing he needs is her having a go at him over pathetic things.

Many years ago he had a big fall out with his parents which resulted in him not speaking to them or having any contact with him. I’d always said that if he decided he did want to get back in touch then he should do and I would be 100% behind him but he never wanted to. He changed his mind last year and has seen them a few times and recently decided he wanted to introduce the children to them. I said I would like to go along as well as it would be nice to see them again and also because it would be a major thing for the children to meet their grandparents for the first time as they didn’t know they even existed.

Guess who didn’t like this??? Yep. For some reason she seems to think she had some right to be there instead. I really cannot see why she should. They’re not her children, and they’re not her in-laws.

So, off we went on Saturday to see them. It was a lovely day. It was really nice to see my in-laws again after all these years and it was nice to see the children meeting them for the first time as well. During the day I posted on FB something along the lines of “having a lovely day with C, the children and their grandparents in Scarborough”. When we got back my mother-in-law and I became friends on FB and the following day she posted a load of photos from the day, some of which I commented on.

You know what’s coming next don’t you???? Yep. Madam goes ballistic. Apparently I posted that update on FB to wind her up. Erm, I posted it on MY wall, for MY friends to read. YOU’VE been told NOT to look at my profile so why are you doing it again?????? Apparently I’m playing games and she accused me of playing happy families….

Ok, lets spell this one out. C is my husband as we are still legally married. So we are still family. The children will always be my children and C’s children. We ARE a family. His parents are my in-law’s and because of the children I will always be part of their family through the children. It WAS a family day out. And it was a happy day out. There was no “playing happy families”. She is nothing to C’s parents and she is nothing to the children. She can’t claim to be part of C’s family in any legal or blood way at all. So why should she have been there???? I’m part of the family. She is not.

She didn’t like the photos that were posted because they had me in them and of course I only commented on them saying I liked them to cause trouble. Oh grow up you silly cow.

By now I have had enough of this. I’ve had enough of her going running to C telling tales and whining like a 5 year old. He doesn’t need the stress of it anyway, especially not at the moment. I cannot believe that a woman of her age is acting like this. She’s older than me yet she’s behaving like a child. Even my children say she’s childish and pathetic for making such a fuss about me being friends with C on facebook and about us being friends.

So I insisted on speaking to her about it. She started coming out with a load of crap about how she made an effort with me. Erm? Yeah, right. Who was it that completely snubbed my invitiation to one of the girl’s birthday party?? Not only did she not bother to turn up she didn’t even have the courtesy to decline the invitation. She could have asked C to make an excuse for her if she didn’t want to come but she didn’t even have the basic manners to do that.

Then she had the nerve to bring up stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with her from the past. Don’t the experts always say you should never bring up stuff from the past in an argument? That’s bad enough but when you bring up something from someone else’s past that is none of your business that is way out of order.

I’d had enough of the total crap and bollocks she was spouting so I told her what I think of her. I don’t take back what I said. She IS fat. She IS ugly. And she IS a bitch. Then she hung up on me and threw the phone at C.

As I said earlier, I have never had a problem with C having a relationship with her. I have never tried to cause trouble between them and I have never tried to split them up. I’ve always just let them get on with it.

I understand her feeling threatened by me. I look after myself. I like to make sure I look nice, I wear nice clothes and shoes (ok, not every single day, some days I like to wear jeans and my converse and not bother with my contact lenses), I wear make-up, I’ve lost loads of weight and am determined to maintain it, I have my hair and nails done. I make an effort over my appearance. Maybe if she put as much effort into how she looks as she has done in trying to cause trouble between me and C then she’d feel better about herself. If she lost some weight, did something about her hair, wore a bit of make-up and wore better clothes she might feel more confident. I know she’s heading for her 50s but she doesn’t have to dress and look like she’s already there.

She accuses me of trying to split them up but I have never done anything to try that. And the way she is behaving she is doing an excellent job of causing it to happen herself. We’ve both moved on.

However, she has pissed me off enough now to find out just what happens when you piss off and annoy the ex. The phone call. This post. Had she just acted like an adult and kept her big mouth shut (not easy when it’s even bigger than your arse, especially when you’re hiding behind a computer screen I accept) then all would have been fine and quiet. Those who know me know that I’m a lovely person but deep inside there is a bitch who will come out when necessary to protect my family. You’ve now seen her.

Madam now needs to take several steps back, stop giving C grief, leave him alone on the subject of me, leave me alone and accept that if she wants a future with him then that involves me being in his life and she has to stop rocking the boat. She has to accept that his children come over and above her and always will do. The highest she will ever be in his eyes is number 9. And she is going to have to stop looking through his facebook messages, phone logs etc because she might just find something she doesn’t want to see.

I know this isn’t the end of it all. I don’t need to have psychic powers to know that she is bound to kick off again over Christmas. Neither C or I want to spend Christmas without the children and neither of us will. She claims Christmas is a time for family yet she kicked off last year because he spent the day with his children. Surely if family are so important to her then she could have no problem with that??? Oh no. She and her family were pissed off he didn’t spend the day with them. Once again the hypocrite comes out….. Her family are not his family so why would he spend the day with them and not his own children who ARE his family????

As long as peace reigns these are my final words on the matter. If she stirs up the shit again then I won’t stay quiet. Just sayin’.