Dressember

There's a group of us taking part in a challenge called Dressember. The idea is to wear a dress (or skirt) every day in December. If you'd like to find out more, or better still join us, have a look here: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Dressember/125734977487362


I've set up another blog to chart my progress in the challenge as well as to post about other clothes, shoes etc (basically girly stuff) in the future. You can find it here: http://tuesdayshoesday.blogspot.com/

When I moved out of the marital home we were really surprised at how well Millie had taken it all. I’d expected her to react badly to the changes but she seemed to be absolutely fine. And when she went back to school all seemed well too.

Of course, it didn’t last! Her behaviour has got worse and worse. Her meltdowns became more frequent and I was seeing a lot more of her “behaviours” at home. Meltdowns are starting first thing in the morning and she is spending a lot of time out of the classroom because she can’t cope with being in there. It’s awful to see her the way she’s gone. School are fantastic, she has a one to one who spends a lot of time with her and they have a table set up in the corridor outside the classroom for her with colouring, pens, plasticine etc for her. But it’s getting to the point where they can’t cope either and she’s coming home at lunchtime when her one to one goes home.

I took her to the doctors to ask them to refer her again to try and get a diagnosis. The school wrote a letter to back up the request as well. We have an appointment on 1st December and the one to one is going to come with us as well to explain what happens at school which I obviously don’t see.

She’s also got the ed psych going into school to see her to give his opinion. Someone from Autism Outreach saw her at school - she had said that she wasn’t able to offer any help until Millie had a diagnosis but then Millie had one of her meltdowns and she said that she would unofficially help out because it was obvious she had autism.

So, at the moment things are looking positive. Hopefully this time we will get a diagnosis. We’re also going to look at a potential secondary school for her next week - its smaller than the one she would normally go to (where my others go) and has a SEN unit that will hopefully be good for her as she wouldn’t cope in a normal sized secondary school.

In other news, I had a very minor car accident the other day. Not my fault, the other driver was in front of me and moved over to the other side of the road so I went to pass him and he suddenly started reversing and hit the side of me wrecking the side of my car. As it happened on the road I used to live I got C to drive me back home and as we were on our way we passed the man again and he did exactly the same thing - pulled over then suddenly reversed. He obviously doesn’t bother to look. Fortunately he missed us - can you imagine ringing the insurance company to tell them that the same bloke had hit me in exactly the same way just in a different car!!

The insurance company has provided me with a replacement until mine is fixed - a top of the range Landrover Discovery. Oh. My. God. It is amazing!!!! I love it and don’t want to give it back. I’ve had compliments on it wherever I’ve been. The kids love it too. I decided to have a look online to see how much one would be second hand. Now, I knew it would be out of my price range but I was totally shocked when I discovered it would be nearly £50k!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope my car takes months to get sorted out!

I’m sorry, I’m terrible at keeping this blog thing up to date aren’t I? I wish I was more disciplined and could write more often. It’s not as if I don’t often think of things to post but never get round to writing them.

So, what’s been happening since I last wrote? We’ve settled in to the new house really well. There are things I still have to buy. I was hoping to get beds for the children who need them this month (some of them are sleeping on airbeds at the moment) but once again they’ve had to go on hold as I’m going to have to buy oil for the heating instead, next month the car needs MOT-ing and taxing, then it’s Christmas…. This budgeting lark isn’t easy. I’m determined not to use any credit for anything so things have to wait, and it’s quite hard. Yes, I’m finally learning to live in the real world!!

It’s not easy this single parenthood lark. Some days it all gets a bit overwhelming, being totally responsible for everything and everyone. It would be so nice to be able to delegate some of it to someone else. To be able to pass some of the weight of it all over to someone else. I have a couple of very good friends that I can talk to, one who has been through a very similar situation and the other is just a very good friend who is always full of good advice and ready with a hug when I need one.

Most of the time though I love it, I love the independence and the possibilities that my life now has ahead of me. I don’t ever regret my decision - sometimes I think maybe I wouldn’t have done it if I’d known how hard it was when I’m having a bad day and feeling the pressure, but then I really don’t want my old life back either so I‘m glad I didn’t know. I don’t want to go back to constantly feeling the way I always did, or being married to someone who looks like a tramp and takes absolutely no care in how he looks (which I always felt was disrespectful).

I enjoy being single, and all the fun that comes from going out and enjoying myself. In some ways I’ve been given the chance to have the youth that I missed out on back as I was only 19 when I had my first child.

In other news - Millie is at the forefront of my mind at the moment. I’m trying again to get a diagnosis for her so we can access the help that’s available out there for her. I have had to apply for her secondary school place and it’s not been an easy decision like it was with the others. Her current school don’t think she will cope well in a mainstream secondary school (and I certainly don’t think she will) so I’m applying to a smaller school that has a SEN unit that I hope she will be able to achieve her potential. No, home education isn’t an option. End of.

I’m still going to the gym lots and still really enjoying it. I train with my personal trainer twice a week and am hoping to reach my target of being a size 8 before Christmas. I lost my focus with the diet when I moved and it’s taken me until last week to get it back but I am so determined I am going to do it that I will hopefully be posting here very soon that I reached my goal.

A blog I love

I used to read lots of blogs but over time I've stopped reading many of them. This is one of my favourites though: http://andyinamsterdam.com/?p=778 I love the way he writes, he almost always makes me laugh (except when he is being serious), I would love to meet him for an evening of knitting. If I ever go back to Amsterdam I am definately going to find out which knitting group he goes to and go along. And if you're reading this Andy, I promise I'm not a crazy mad stalker!! :-)

For a while now I have alluded to something going on in my life that I couldn’t really talk about then. But now I can.

I’ve said before about blogs only showing the side of the writers life that they want you to see and that while the reader may be imagining a wonderfully rosy life where everything is perfect (and wishing theirs was so) I’m sure that often it isn’t as shiny as it seems.

I have no idea what kind of image my blog portrays of my life, it’s hard to know when you’re the one writing, but if any of you readers has thought my life is wonderful and perfect with all my lovely children then you’re mistaken.

In February I split up with my husband. Yes, after 17 years of marriage I couldn’t live as unhappily as I was any longer and I told him it was over. We lived in the same house until about 3 weeks ago when I moved out into my own place. I am loving the new pad, I love being able to relax, to live life the way I want to and not have to worry about anyone else (apart from the children of course).

The children love the new house too. We have a huge garden for them to run round in and there are horses in the field behind the house which has delighted the girls no end. They keep asking me to make friends with the owners in the hopes they will be allowed to stroke them.

It’s not all been easy. There has been an awful lot for me to sort out all by myself which was a daunting task at first but as I have done each thing I have felt a mounting sense of pride and achievement (who knew that sorting out house insurance all by yourself could be so exciting???) Sometimes it has felt that it would be so much easier not to move, to just let things carry on the way they were, but with the encouragement and help of a special friend I have done it and am so glad I have.

So, I am now a single mother of 8 and looking forward to the next chapter of my life.

And in case you’re wondering, things are pretty amicable between me and the ex. Yes, we have our flare ups but on the whole things are good and I hope they stay that way, for the sake of the children if nothing else. I hope we can remain friends as it will make life so much more pleasant.

As part of the clear out I have back issues of The Mother magazine from issue 2 to the present for sale. I would prefer to sell them as one lot. Please email me if you’re interested (or leave a comment on here if you don’t have my email address and I’ll contact you). Also back issues of Juno magazine from issue 1 onwards.

My last posting was about shoes, it made me laugh because today I bought another gorgeous pair of shoes. I don’t think I will be able to walk far in them. While I was trying them on a voice said “they’re not going to be much use in the gym!” I looked up to see one of the receptionists next to me and I joked about wearing them on the treadmill. Then she said “are you going to save them for the bedroom??” A bit of a loaded question really all things considered.

Killer heels or what? I’m wondering if another rather rude term would apply to them too? If you are a Sex and The City fan you will probably know which one I mean!!


I love them and they were a bargain - should have been £89 but in the sale they were only £29. I really need cheering up at the moment. A lot is going on in my life and not good. Things are getting to a point where I cannot see a way out of my situation and it is very hard, but if a pair of shoes can make me feel a little bit better then it was £29 well worth spending.


I am hoping that my next post will have some good news in it and that I will then be able to share with you what is going on at the moment. Please cross everything.


I kept promising a fabric/sewing stuff/craft stuff clear out didn’t I? Well, I finally listed some of the stuff. There is still loads to go but I got to the point where I was losing the will to live with it all. Unlisted is Killington flannel, burley knit terry, loads of flannels in different colours and prints, loads of PRR, just generally loads of fabrics so if there is something you are particularly after please email me at foreverj2@yahoo.co.uk I also have loads of craft stuff - mostly scrap booking, again if there is anything you’re after let me know and I will see if I have it. I do intend to get it listed at some point but it may be a few weeks. I also have a dressmakers dummy still for sale, £30. Again, let me know if you’d like it. The link to what did get listed is here:


http://www.flickr.com/photos/31415256@N00/


Please email me about anything you want - please don’t leave comments on the photos. I haven’t got the time to keep checking through them. Sorry to be blunt. I will also only take paypal and payment must be within 24 hours, again, sorry to be blunt but I desperately need the money asap (it will become clear why soon, when I feel I can post about it). Don’t waste my time by asking for stuff, a postage price (I have to gather it all together, pack it then weigh it) and then change your mind. Again I don’t have the time to be messing around.

Sometimes a girl just has to treat herself to a new pair of shoes and these arrived today. They are a lot higher than they look but really comfortable (from the 5 minutes I had them on for when they arrived. I may wish to retract that comment after 4 hours on the dance floor!!) I can’t wait to have an excuse to wear them!!!

Argh!!!!!!! I normally write my blog posts in a word document and then cut and paste it here to avoid losing my work as happened with my first ever blog posting. Typically last night I sat and wrote a longish post straight into Blogger and what happened? Yep, my laptop crashed and I lost it all.

I can't be arsed writing it all again, partly through sheer laziness and partly through feeling slightly worse for wear after a very good night out last night - it was one of those nights out where you really don't want to go but you drag yourself out anyway and then have a fantastic time. We were meant to be going to the cinema but ended up gatecrashing a BBQ (it was my friend's uncles BBQ and she had been there all day but we decided to go back there instead of seeing the film) and then we ended up going back to her cousins house for more drinks.

Anyway, the post was about how I have been a Pet Shop Boys fan since I was a teenager and how they always had a song that could have been written just for me. The soundtrack of my life would be mainly PSB songs. Even those days sat in my bedroom feeling depressed had a song that described my life to a T.

I recently got a new iPod and have put all the PSB albums on it and was amazed to find there was even a song for something that is going on in my life right now. I'm not going to share it here, as one of the lines says, "the world won't understand" but if you're that interested feel free to email me and I'll tell you.

If my laptop crashes before I post this I am going to cry. I wonder if they have a song about that????

I’ve recently started going out on a Saturday night with a friend. I really enjoy these (drunken!!) nights out, it’s great to get out and have a dance and just enjoy myself. My friend knows everyone it seems so we can’t go anywhere without her being stopped by someone - it’s like being out with a celeb!!

I went out on Saturday with her and was surprised to see the sky starting to get light behind us as we drove home (or rather, were driven home, I don’t drink and drive!!!) and it’s rekindled my thing about wanting to watch the sun rise again (if you’re a long time reader of this blog you may remember I had a thing about wanting to drive to Skegness to watch the sun rise over the sea). One day I will do it - maybe next time I’m out I’ll just not go home until after it’s risen.

If you know me then you’ll be most surprised to learn I sat out in the garden yesterday. I hate sitting in the garden, it’s really not my thing. I hate it when I go to friends houses and they want to sit outside. But, there I was, sunbathing, and getting a bit of colour. Ok, a bit too much colour…. I wont share any pics with you but just imagine a lobster wearing a white vest and you’ll get the idea!!!

But I actually enjoyed it and plan to do it more often. So much so that I bought a bikini today. Now, you will never ever see me in a bikini. As much weight as I have lost my legs and bottom are horrible and I will never let anyone see them. Hopefully they will tone up a bit more but the cellulite is pretty horrendous so I will keep it hidden in public!! I would like to sit in the garden in them and get a bit of a tan - and yes, I will be using sun cream from now on too. Bought a huge bottle of it today (and a bit bottle of after sun for my currently sore bits!!!)

We even sat outside and had dinner which was nice - we have bats living somewhere near us so it was lovely to watch them flitting about and listening to the birds getting ready to settle down for the night.

Five years ago we split our back garden in half so we could keep chickens. We didn’t mind too much losing the space as we have another garden down the side of the house for the children but as the chickens don’t actually need so much room (we only have three now) and because they don’t even stay in their pen anyway, they roam free, we decided to pull up the fencing and give them a much smaller pen and reclaim the lawn. It’s made the garden seem three times the size and it’s lovely to have it all back again. The children’s playhouse has gone on the concrete slab the chicken house was on (that’s moved into the far corner of the garden) and we have the whole patio back.

Hopefully this year I’ll spend more time out there and hopefully I’ll be a lovely shade of brown and not milk bottle white (or lobster red!!!!!)

I’ve got a tough week at the gym this week - my personal trainer is away so I have no one to motivate or push me (or sit and have a coffee and chat with either but I probably shouldn’t admit that bit, lol) I really enjoy my training sessions (I’m sure I’ve said it before). No matter how tough the workout is I still laugh most of the way through it. Hopefully I wont gain any weight this week as I’m changing my diet again. I was doing high protein/no carbs but I was getting to the point where I knew I was becoming scared of eating carbs ever again, they are too evil, so I’ve decided to reintroduce them and just watch the calories.

Did I mention last year we made our own wine? I finally tried some the other day - the pear one. Oh my goodness! It was gorgeous but very very strong. There will definitely be another dozen or so bottles made of that one again this year!!!

This week looked to be another normal quiet week on Monday. Amos had been coughing over the weekend but I didn’t think too much of it. I’m not one of those mothers who takes her kids to the docs at the first sniffle. My lot have to be really poorly before I’ll take them up there however by about 9pm I was really worried about his breathing as he seemed to be struggling so I decided to take him up to A&E. I thought he might have a chest infection or maybe asthma as he sounded like I did when I ended up in hospital when I was pregnant with him. Several hours in A&E and an x-ray later it was decided he just had croup and we were admitted to the children’s ward at 2am so they could keep an eye on him.

He was discharged in the morning and we were given some steroids to take home in case it happened again - we did need to give him a dose as he got bad again, but now he seems fine. He still has a nasty cough but he’s breathing ok. I am wondering if it’s asthma related as it happens at night more than during the day but that could also be because the phlegm is collecting in his chest because he’s lying down.

So that was our bit of excitement this week.

Not a lot else has been happening really. I know my last few posts have been really down, but I am so much happier this week. I woke up on Saturday morning feeling so much more positive about everything and the mood has lasted almost the whole time since (apart from when I was really tired after hardly any sleep on Monday night). Stuff is still going on here, things are still confusing, but I’m not as down about it all as I was.

Because I’ve lost so much weight I’ve bought myself some new gym gear - it’s really nice to go from wearing big baggy trousers and t-shirts to close fitting clothes and not feel like I look totally horrendous in them. I’m still not quite where I want to be but I’m getting there with the help of my personal trainer. I really enjoy the sessions training with him (although today I was begging him not to make me do any more and to let me spend the rest of the session recovering on the sofa. He said no.) and the results I’m getting are well worth the pain. No matter how much I’m hating the exercises I still find myself laughing all the way through it so I leave feeling positive (if knackered!!). It’s been great on those days where I’ve felt really stressed and miserable - I don’t have time to brood over whatever is going on so by the time I’ve finished I feel really relaxed and distressed.

I will post those photos one day. And I will get round to sorting out the craft stuff and fabric etc as well (I probably shouldn’t have posted anything about it until I’d actually done it should I????)

My last post said I was going to be listing all my fabrics etc soon didn’t it? I know, I just haven’t got round to it. Partly because there is so much I can’t face it. If you’re waiting for me to list stuff and you have an idea of what you want then please contact me at foreverj2 at aoldotcom (I’m sure you can work out what you need to put in the address box!?)

I have flannels, knits, velour, fleece, linen, loads of stuff. Also the dressmakers dummy is in need of a new home. As far as I can tell it has never been used and I never got round to using it but now it’s too big for me as I have lost a lot of weight this last few weeks through stress and the high protein diet. Also, snap press, snaps (hundreds of snaps!!), threads, zips, etc etc The sewing machine and over locker will be listed when I get round to it too.

I’m also selling my craft stuff and I have so much of that again I just can’t face it. I have a bind-it-all and loads of accessories that I would like to sell as a set, a dreamkuts, a Big Shot as well as a couple of alphabets and other dies for it, most of it is hardly used. Lots of other bits and pieces as well, lots of K&Co stuff so if you’re after anything from that range let me know and I’ll see if I have it.

One day I might be able to face up to getting it all out and photographing it but not at the moment. If there is anything you’re looking for just ask and I might have it.

I can’t believe I didn’t post all of last month. I had an entry half written that I kept going back to and not being able to finish. I deleted it and am starting again.

My new job is going well. I can’t remember if I mentioned it in my last post? It’s in a lovely coffee shop and deli in town. It’s only 12 hours a week but that’s just what I want, not too much so I can spend more time with the children.

I’m still going to the gym and losing weight. I’ve still got about another stone to go and then maybe I will post my before, during and after pictures - or maybe not. The first one is really embarrassing, I can’t believe I looked so awful.

I know I’ve said before about blogs often only showing the nice side of peoples lives and not the not so nice side. Maybe the reason I haven’t posted is because of what’s been going on at home, its been hard to be positive and smiley.

I’m not going to publicly announce it at the moment. I have no idea who is reading this. But I suspect this maybe one of my last posts on this blog for sometime now.

Remember the dressmakers dummy I bought a while ago? It’s now too big for me because I’ve lost so much weight. Would anyone like to buy it? £30 plus postage if you need it sent to you (would probably be around £10.50 via parcel force). I could really do with the space.

As I said before, I am having a massive clearout soon. I still haven’t got round to listing everything yet. I need the money and I need to get rid of almost everything I own for personal reasons. Please help me when I finally get round to listing it by taking it off my hands.

Heads up for you - I will be having another big clear out of my fabric/craft stuff this week. I will of course post here when it all gets uploaded so watch this space! :-)

I wrote the first bit of this last Sunday:

It’s been ages since I wrote anything. Sorry!!!

So, what’s happened since last time? Well, Starbucks closed down. We went in the following day to pack everything that was going to other stores or being put into storage and to throw away everything else. We all got to take a few souvenirs from the bin pile - mugs for example. The hoover, the scales, the desk chair and a fridge were all rehomed by ex staff.

It was an odd feeling being in the unit with it blocked off from the Tesco store and the big equipment having gone to other stores. Everything piled up in a corner waiting for the skip to arrive, including all the signage which I now wish I’d had at least a few letters of.

The following day we had our induction to the new company. We were also given our rota for training for the following three weeks. I was in Lincoln with the three lads I work with for the training period, and I have to say we had a great time. I’d usually do the driving up to Lincoln and we’d stop off at MacDonalds for coffee on the way there. The journey was usually hilarious however I won’t repeat the jokes here. I’m going to miss our morning coffee stop. I think it gave us a chance to really bond as a team as well.

I also had a trip to Leeds to train at Costa Coffee up there which was good. I’m now qualified to make their coffee which is something else to add to the CV. The least said about the rest of my Leeds trip the better as it involves me getting a bit drunk.

We’re now in the unit and are opening on Tuesday which is really exciting. I’m sure we’ll be ready by Tuesday morning but I suspect tomorrow (Monday) is going to be a stressful and busy day. I’ll be glad when it’s about two weeks from now, we’re all settled, we all know what we’re doing and we’ve got into a routine.

I do have a bit of good news as well - I’ve been made Team Leader which is their term for Assistant Manager. I’m really chuffed as I wanted a bit of responsibility.
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I’m now writing this, a week later, again on a Sunday, and, well, lets just say things have changed slightly. The café opened on Tuesday, I handed in my notice on Thursday. Yes, it was that awful. I hated it so much I couldn’t stand to be there a moment longer. So, I am now unemployed but very very relieved.

I hardly saw the children, the hours were so long, in fact on Thursday night I saw them for the first time in two days when Craig brought them in to have something to eat.

There is possibly something else on the horizon so please cross your fingers for me! J

Other than that I haven’t had time for anything else. I did try and finish the Caterpillar quilt but my sewing machine kept playing up so it’s still sitting there waiting for me to give it another go. I will finish it. One day!

I am still going to the gym lots though and enjoying it. I’ve set myself a 6 week challenge to get myself into my size 10 jeans. I think I can do it with my new exercise programme. The gym has become my social life recently which is nice. Much as I love my friends with children it’s nice to talk to people that I have something different in common with and who in some cases don’t even know I have children at all. It’s nice to just put my ipod on full blast and just run or whatever it is I’m doing with no distractions.

So, that’s my update for now. No doubt it will be another few weeks before I write again. Before I go though, does anyone want to buy a dressmakers dummy? It’s a larger sized one and I don’t think it has ever been used (remember the one I got ages ago? Well, it’s that one but it’s going to be too big for me when I’m a size 8/10 again) £35 plus postage if you’re not close enough to collect.

Ciao for now! ;-)

I’ve been slack again haven’t I? Sorry.

Since I last wrote we have had Ellie’s 12th birthday. She was most annoyed that she had to go to school but as it was the last day of term off she went.

I did my last shift at work on Sunday - it seemed quite strange (and sad) walking into work knowing it was the last time for that company. I’m going in for a couple of hours on the last day (not to work, just to be there) and then we’re all in on Monday to pack everything up ready for it to be taken away.

On Tuesday we’re back again for a day with the new company. I have no idea what we’ll be doing but they want us there 9 till 5, maybe it’s some sort of induction?

We’ve had a meeting with the new company and met our new manager. He seems like a nice bloke, and hopefully will be easy going and a good laugh and not too scary to work for. I feel more positive about the whole thing now anyway.

I’ve been at the gym all week as usual. Last week I did some running to start my training for Race for Life and my knee really hurt halfway through and was really painful the following day (the previous - and first - time I tried running I had the same problem). My PT advised me to go to The Lincolnshire Runner, a shop (for runners strangely enough!!) in Lincoln to get fitted for some proper running shoes as my trainers were not only old but also not supportive enough for exercise. The man in the shop diagnosed my problem very quickly and I soon walked out with a nice new pair of running shoes. If you’re after running shoes and want excellent service then I highly recommend them. They know what they are talking about and have shoes for all budgets. I will be going back when I need to replace this pair.

The difference has been immediate - I’ve run a few times since getting them and had no problems with my knee, plus running seems so much easier as well. So, I am really getting into the training. Worryingly I am getting quite addicted to it which is quite amazing for someone who up until now has hated running and was always the one who got a lift back with the teacher during cross country PE lessons (and was always last in races at school). I had planned to do a run two or three times a week but at the moment I am wanting to run every day.

I also decided to splash out on a new pair of trainers for aerobics and other non-running exercise (running shoes support your feet in a different way to non-running shoes) and got myself a pair of Reebok easy tone shoes - supposedly they help tone up your leg and bum muscles as you walk. They are definitely weird to walk in at first and I can’t drive in them, so we shall see. Mind you, they’re not something I would wear when I’m not going to the gym so I may not get the full benefit of them.

I am really taking this whole exercise thing seriously which I like, and people are seeing the difference in me which is also nice too - I’ve lost 2.5 stone since September and have another 1.5 stone to go, possibly a bit more or less depending on when I get back into my size 8’s.

I also have a new project to keep me busy for a few days anyway - I am going to tile and paint the kitchen. When we had the kitchen done over 6 years ago we didn’t get it tiled partly for financial reasons, but there are a few places that really need doing so I have finally chosen some tiles, got some paint and just need to get on with it.

I may post photos when I have finished - if I ever get it started!! Being a master procrastinator I have found other things to do instead, including getting on with finishing The Quilt. Except there was a tangle of thread underneath it when I had almost finished so it’s currently still sat in the sewing machine waiting for me to go back to it.

I plan to devote some of Sunday to it otherwise it will never get done (I started decorating the breakfast room a few years ago and never finished it and had to throw away the tin of gloss paint the other day as it had solidified).

Half term has flown by, we haven’t managed to do much all week. We did go to the new Pets at Home store that opened today - I think half of Boston was there as well as it took ages to get a parking space and then ages to get out again, we ended up popping into MacDonalds for an ice-cream (for the children, black coffee for me) while we waited for the traffic to clear up a bit.

Ellie is desperate for a Leopard Gecko or a Bearded Dragon - now, I have to say I do like these types of reptiles (my fave is an iguana) and being hairless I wouldn’t be allergic to them, but they are blooming expensive, and I just know that the novelty would soon wear off and it would all be down to me to look after them, or something awful would happen and they’d die.

Sophie was almost in tears begging us for a rabbit when she spotted one she fell in love with. Have I shared with you the story of the birthday rabbit we got for Ellie 4 years ago? No? Let’s just say, it was the gift that kept on giving, within weeks one rabbit became 6 and a few months later another load appeared. We will never ever be getting a rabbit again, they’re worse than me for having babies!!

Cut the boys hair as well today at long last - Amos really needs a haircut too as it’s getting really long but all I could bring myself to do was trim it a bit in front of his ears. Even just that tiny bit made him look grown up, I’m not touching the rest and certainly not his spike, it would be like cutting what’s-his-name’s hair (my mind has gone completely blank and I cannot for the life of me remember the name of the bloke who lost his powers when his hair was cut, come on, remind me).

That’s my quick update for the week. Have a good weekend whatever you’re doing.

Today is Amos’s first birthday. I’m not going to say the usual about the time going so fast. You know it does.

I was at work most of the day so he had his presents when everyone was home from school and then his cake. Obviously he didn’t have a clue what was going on or why daddy had hidden a book and some toys in play silks (decided it would be easier for him to open and less hassle for us). When he opened the caterpillar Pjs Alfie shouted “they’re mine!!!!!!!!!!!” and took them away to put in his drawer. I have warned everyone he is not to eat anything while wearing them to try and keep them nice for as long as possible.

Then.....

And now....

I had to go to my spinning class at 5 so we did the birthday cake before I went out - again he didn’t have a clue that all the singing was for him, but he did enjoy the cake.

My night out on Monday was good - I had checked out the menu in advance to decide what to have but of course once I was there my good intentions went out of the window and we ended up sharing a starter between us, I had chips with my main course and then shared a big dessert. It was really really nice though!!

Yesterday I started work at 7.30am which wasn’t too bad but the tiredness soon kicked in again and I ended up taking advantage of the coffee on tap to keep me awake. Went to the gym in the evening and did spinning, abs and then a few weights.

As it’s Amos’s birthday on Wednesday and we have only got him a very cute Paul Frank Julius the monkey set with a bottle (shock horror!), dummy (double shock horror!!!!!), bib and something else that I can’t remember in it we decided to have a quick trip over to Peterborough to get him a Piggy Bank toy that I’d seen and though he might like from Toys R Us, then nipped into the Queensgate centre to spend my £10 John Lewis voucher on half a pair of Very Hungry Caterpillar Pjs for him (I had to pay for the other half as said Pjs were not cheap!!). Typically they didn’t have a small enough pair for him so we cunningly went for the 3-4 years size thinking that Alfie can wear them first and then we would get our money’s worth (we did consider buying the even bigger size so we could get three children’s worth of wear out of them but we just know that Jack wouldn’t be seen dead in them and anyway by the time Amos got them they’d be wrecked.)

If Alfie refuses to wear them then they will just have to go away for him - I don’t need a crystal ball to predict that in about 6 years time we will come across them during a big clear out and go “oh, no, we forgot to get these out for Amos when he was three” and put them away for a grandchild (only for our adult grandchildren to be clearing out the house after we have gone and wonder why on earth their grandparents had an unworn pair of Caterpillar Pjs stashed away in their house.)

So, he has a couple of nice things to open from us, hopefully I will remember to get him one of those “That’s not my ……” books too as he likes a couple of the ones we have.

I was going to go to the gym after we got home but I am soooo tired I decided not to go - really, can’t keep my eyes open tired. I’m being picked up for a works night out in less than two hours so a sleep is out of the question. It’s our leaving do so I should go really. Hopefully it will be a good night. And hopefully not too late as I am at work at 7.30 tomorrow morning (thank god the coffee is on tap!!)

The idea is that I can have a drink - I might have one but no more than that. I am not risking doing anything that has everyone saying “do you remember when Lucie ……. on that meal we went to???” for years to come.

I will make up for my slackness by going to the gym on Saturday instead (I was actually going to go first thing this morning and was all ready to go but then we decided on the Peterborough trip instead. Is this the first sign that my dedication may be waning???)

Sorry I’ve been so slack at writing again. Some days I wonder if I should write about even the more boring mundane days of my life as well as the slightly more interesting stuff. Do you want to hear about the mundane stuff??

I have a busy week at work coming up. I’m doing 29 hours instead of my usual 12 because we’re getting more short staffed. Two people have left since New Year and one person is on holiday. I’m not complaining, the money will be nice. Next Sunday is my final shift there - I’m on holiday the following week and then we close.

I’m hoping to find something else soon, but there isn’t a lot out there, especially not for someone with as little experience as me - people go on about how being a mother is the most important job in the world yet it counts for absolutely zilch in the real world of employment, in fact, it counts against you when you’re trying to get back to work.

I’m really enjoying going to the gym five days a week. I’m doing lots of classes and having a session with a PT once a week too (not costing me anything so I’d be mad to decline). I am starting to actually feel a difference now - when I put my hands on my hips there is less to hold on to and I can feel my hip bones. I’ve also developed muscles in my arms which I’m very proud of - they’re still barely noticeable to most people but I can see them, lol

I’ve set myself a target for reaching my final goal - the end of April - so I am totally focussed on reaching it at the moment. I’m starting to make friends at the gym as well which is nice - it’s a bit depressing to go somewhere like that and see other people chatting away and not having anyone to even say hello to. But now I see at least one person to at least say hello to when I go. And there’s usually someone to chat to, or have a coffee with after a class. I also spotted one of the mums from school the other day too which was nice, especially as her daughter is friends with one of mine.

Amos is almost a year old already! He’s such a lovely little baby, and doing really well. He is still commando crawling everywhere but can get on his knees to reach higher up things. He’s just started pointing to what he wants or where he wants to go which is really cute.

He wasn’t well last week, his temps went up to over 104 a few times and he still has a cough lingering. I might take him to the doctors this week if he is still coughing as I’m a bit worried about it - he’ll have big coughing fits and it sounds quite wet IYSWIM? Amusingly, he has a spike of hair that goes flat when he’s not well and then perks up again when he’s feeling better.

I’m working all day on his birthday which is a shame but I’m sure he won’t care or notice. We’ll have a cake though and a little tea party. Then on Friday we’ll be having a tea party and cake all over again for Eleanor who is going to be 12.

I’m looking forward to having half term week at home with the children. I think we’re going to have to organise some day trips out somewhere and actually do something. We usually end up staying at home and doing nothing in the school holidays which must get boring for the children. I think there are quite a few places we could go that are free.

I’m also hoping to get the caterpillar quilt finished soon as well. I keep saying I’ll do it when the tidying is done, I will finish it soon though and then it’s not gathering dust on the back of my chair anymore, making me feel guilty!!!

Hope you’ve had a good weekend, whatever you’ve been doing.

Sorry I haven't written anything for ages. I've got loads to write, it's just finding the time to actually do it.

I'm going to the gym lots which is great and I'm really seeing and feeling the benefits now. I love it.

Until I get round to writing more, have you seen the fish at the bottom of the page? Scroll right down to see them and hover your mouse over them.

I'm going to rant now I'm afraid. Why why why when I offer things for sale do people say they want things and then not bother to contact me again. Or they change their mind but don't bother to let you know so a week or so later you're waiting for their payment and email them to remind them and they go "oh I'm sorry, I don't want it anymore" (usually using some stupid excuse). I am sooooooooooo fed up with it keep happening. I'm sure it's not just me it happens to. Why are people so bloody rude and such time wasters??

Seriously, if someone offers something for sale and you've said you want it then keep up your side of the bargain and pay for it. Don't mess them around, it really pisses people off. Especially if they've done what I do which is find packaging for the item so I can see what the weight will be and then I usually leave it in the envelope or box until the payment arrives and then I can just quickly seal it, address it and then post it.

Can you tell I am really angry about this?? It's happened to me a number of times over the past few weeks alone. I have piles of stuff cluttering the place up waiting to be paid for.

I've tried chasing a couple of people up but had no reply so it's going back in the box and they can forget it (worse still, one of the items was free for postage so I was doing them a favour).

You really are rude and annoying when you waste people's time like this.

And while I'm at it - if the person who owes me £10 is reading this, I hope you're proud of yourself for ripping me off and stealing from me (as well as the other person you ripped off at the same time from the same forum).

All I can say is I hope karma bites these people on the arse big time.

Encouraged by another blog I read, I had my colours done today. I’ve wanted to have it done for years and never got round to it but before Christmas I enquired with a local Colour Me Beautiful Consultant about booking a session and well, today I had it.

I have to admit to being a bit nervous - was she going to take one look at me and announce my hair is totally the wrong colour for me and my clothes made me look washed out?? What do you wear to one of these sessions??

Helen was really lovely. She has a room dedicated to her job and it was so relaxing and beautifully decorated - I want a room just like it. My hair (which is getting redder and redder with each hairdressers appointment) is a great colour apparently, but needs to be a warmer red if possible. So that was a relief. I think my top was the wrong colour too but never mind (and I can always wear a scarf with it).

I now know all the colours which suit me - and it was amazing to see just what a difference the right colour made to my face as opposed to the wrong colour. Yes, there are some disappointment - I absolutely love bright pink and it’s a no no for me. But I can still wear bright red which is great. Some of the colours I didn’t like but they made me look really well, so I am going to have to be brave and get some.

Helen also went through my make-up and sorted it into two piles - one that suits me and one that doesn’t. The no pile was bigger than the yes, and typically the items I use every day were in the no pile. But it is such a relief to know what will look good on me, and even a relief to have so much less make-up too. It was taking up 2 shelves in my bathroom cupboard, now it fits into one make-up bag.

I do have a (small!!) shopping list of a few bits I could do with getting which I will treat myself to one day.

If you’re in Lincolnshire and fancy having a session then I highly recommend Helen. She also does style makeovers (which I am going to have when I have finished losing the weight), will go shopping with you and is even a therapist and does reflexology. Her website is: http://www.helenmajor.co.uk/

Since September I’ve lost 2 stone in weight which I’m really pleased about although I do have about another two stone to go. I had my hair cut off and coloured - I’d love to be brave enough to go the same colour as Jane Goldman (Mrs Jonathan Ross), maybe one day I will!! Another boost to my confidence was getting my job. I’m loving going to the gym as well - I surprised myself tonight when I found that I was at the front of the class, by choice and not because everyone else had beaten me to the back. I can’t wait until I’ve lost the rest of my weight as I know it will be another boost to my confidence.

Yum!

One of the blogs I like reading is called Border Stories. The lady who writes it posts some lovely recipes - she's into the same sort of "weird" food as I am so I love reading about her latest things and the info she posts. The raw chocolate fudge thing I make is one of her recipes and I also tried making kimchi: http://mamauktalesfromwales.blogspot.com/2010/01/kimchi.html

Now it's a bit of a faff to make but oh my goodness!! I am supposed to be leaving it to sit for a week before I can eat it. All I can say is it's a good job I made 2 jars of it because I keep going back to it for another mouthful - the last one had a lot of chilli in it so that's made me a bit more wary of eating it too quickly. I can't wait for it to be ready although I'm not sure what to do with it once it is.

And I have another batch of the raw chocolate in the fridge right now - my last lot was a disaster after I tried making it without the recipe in front of me so I am looking forward to this one being set.

The quilt still isn’t finished. I’m not to blame though - I ordered new thread and was sent the wrong stuff but the place I ordered from seems to be ignoring my emails now so I am NOT happy!!!

I’m back into the gym in a big way again. I’m going 5 times a week and doing 2 classes or a class and a session in the gym, or if I’m too late for a class then just a session in the gym. I prefer classes as I am sure I work a lot harder than I do when I’m on my own. Is it a sign you’re addicted that when you leave you want to turn round and go back to do some more??? If so, then it’s an addiction I’m happy to have.

I’m still eating my high raw wheat free diet. We sell wheat free chocolate cake at work so I decided to try one to see if I reacted to it or not and I did. I don’t know if it’s the sugar in it or something else, but I felt quite ill for hours afterwards and like I had a bowling ball in my stomach. I only ate half of it as well.

It’s going well though, and I feel good on it which probably is what makes my reactions to other things so much worse, because I am so aware of how good I can feel.

I’m currently looking for a new job. We’re closing at the end of next month so I need something else. I’ve applied for a few things and heard nothing back, but hopefully something will come up soon. Fingers crossed!!!

We have an appointment this week about Millie so hopefully something will get moving as everything seemed to have come to a standstill over Christmas. Cross your fingers for that too please! :-)

Ok, the secret project - it wasn’t a secret really, but here it is anyway.

I got the fabric a while ago (if you go back through my blog entries you’ll see it when it arrived) and then spurred on by a discussion on Facebook about Hungry Caterpillar quilts I decided to make a start on mine. I made it up as I went along but then looking online at what other people had done it seems that I made it the same as most people.

I would have liked to have had more colours for the sashing but that was what was available from the co-op so I had to make do but I am pleased with it.

I didn’t know how to quilt it - I felt that just stitching in the ditch or doing squares would be boring but I had never tried freehand quilting and was a bit scared of it. I decided to give it a go anyway and couldn’t believe just how easy it is. Ok, more experienced quilters would laugh at my attempt but I’m happy with it.

What I wasn’t so happy about was running out of quilting thread halfway through. I’m hoping eBay will come to the rescue. If not, well, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I’ve used transparent thread for the top and primary variegated in the bobbin. The coloured thread comes through in a few places but I can live with that. Once the quilting is done I can bind it and then it’s finished. Already small battles are breaking out as to who gets it. It’s not for any one person, it’s for everyone to share.

Today it has snowed, and I have sewed!! Yes, really. I have actually made something, but it's not finished yet so you'll have to wait until tomorrow for photos.

It snowed very heavily here - I managed to persuade Alfie that he really did want to go to playschool this morning but by the time we had got into the car it was blizzarding down so we went back indoors. When we got back into the house I looked outside and the car was completely white again. I think it was a good choice!!

This afternoon was lovely though, very cold, but bright, so I went for a nice walk around the village and ended up chatting to an old man outside his house for nearly an hour. He was lovely, but very lonely and I felt really sorry for him. He's 91 and his wife died 8 years ago and since then he's just been desperate to die so he can be with her again. He goes to the crematorium every day no matter what the weather to see her and every night says "I love you" to her photo. They were her last words to him and he hopes they can be his last words too.

He did have some village gossip though some of which was slightly disappointing. The old man who lives next door to us is always having visits from an old lady, or he's always at her house or driving her somewhere. We call her Elsie and were convinced she was his girlfriend. Sadly not, she's his sister-in-law. No idea if she's really called Elsie though - I would laugh if she is!!


Then there was a discussion about something on Facebook that led to me being inspired enough to start on my own version. I have almost finished the main part of it and will almost certainly get it done tomorrow, especially as I'm not going in to work.

It's gone 11pm and I actually don't want to go to bed yet - I want to keep on sewing which can only be a good sign, and I am planning to get more projects done this weekend. One of them has been sitting in the cupboard for over 6 years. Ok, it's not going to be quite what was planned originally - it was going to be a strippy quilt (yes, strippy, not stripey) but it's now just going to be a simple square patchwork.

Anyway, that's your sneak preview of tomorrow's post. No photos, but if you just imagine lots of white, you'll be there.

I forgot to mention the other day that I have found a home for my treadle sewing machine. Normally we have the dining table in front of the window in the dining room - it leaves loads of floor space for the children to play and makes the room look huge (it is a big room but it has so much furniture in it it looks smaller than it really is). At Christmas we move the table so it’s lengthways down the room and the tree goes in front of the window. We lose a lot of floor space so I prefer the table by the window.

However, I’ve decided to leave the table where it is and put the sewing machine in front of the window instead as we don’t really have anywhere else for it to live. It’s better in the dining room too as there is more chance of me actually using it (new belt is on order from eBay so I will finally be able to try it very soon!!)

As you can see in the photo it has become a really handy place to have my laptop. The power lead has become loose and it only needs to be looked at to fall out and switch my computer off (we took the battery pack out a while ago because it was causing it to switch off all the time). On the table it stays in, the laptop stays cool and it also means I can do my computer stuff in peace as it’s nice and quiet in here.

So, even if I never use the sewing machine for sewing, it does make a nice desk for me!!

Here’s a photo of the view from here as well. It’s a bit white at the moment, but when the sun is starting to set the sky goes a lovely colour and it’s nice to just sit and look at it.

Sometimes when you read other peoples blogs you get the false impression that their life is wonderful and they don’t have problems, and their children are little angels. Let me tell you, that isn’t always the case!!! My children had got into the habit of not going to sleep until after midnight and then not getting up until midday. At 2.30am the other morning after going up countless times to Jack and Alfie to nicely ask them to get back into bed I ended up screaming at them to GET INTO BED AND GO TO SLEEP NOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW. Funnily enough it worked, although Jack slept until 1pm. Poor Alfie had to get up early for his first day at playschool (which went really well, hopefully his next session will do too) I suspect they will be asleep and stay asleep fairly quickly tonight as it’s the first day back.

Unlike what seems to be the entire rest of the country we don’t have deep snow. In fact we barely have any. I am hoping we get some very soon, I love it when it snows. But it is really cold at the moment, so much so that even my new sheepskin slippers (I know, I said I wasn’t buying anything this year but I needed them) aren’t keeping my feet as warm as I would like. I think I’m going to have to move one of the portable heaters in here.

And talking of slippers, aren’t these cute. Yes, I know, but Amos does need something to keep his feet warm too. They are so gorgeously soft that I am very jealous mine weren’t as strokable!!

Ok, this may just end up being a bit of a ramble so I apologise in advance.

Christmas was a nice day. We did our usual Christmas thing - the children had stockings on their beds to open before they woke us up. To avoid any nasty incidents involving the Thomas the Tank Engine bubble bath that Jack and Alfie had in their stockings we, I mean, Santa, put their stockings on Ellie’s bed so she could supervise them opening everything. The children had their traditional Terry’s chocolate orange or bag of chocolate coins in their stockings as well as lots of other bits and pieces.

This meant we got to sleep until about half eight before we could stand the visits to our room to see if the other presents could be opened no longer. The children sorted their presents into piles and took it in turns to open one each - those who had lots of cheaper items took longer to open than the ones who had few more expensive things but they understand that everyone had the same amount spent on them (apart from poor Amos who got one present but took nearly half an hour to get it open).

We didn’t go mad on things for them. Because of the family situation we’re the only people who buy things for our children so they’re not inundated with piles and piles of stuff like some children are. I think they were all really pleased with what they got though, Jack especially as he has an obsession with level crossings and traffic lights and he got both in his pile.

After presents we have breakfast - the traditional croissants and what may be a new tradition, bagels. Both were eaten as quickly as possible by the children and off they went to play again.

As they were all busy I took the opportunity to start sorting through my books to cull some of them to be listed on Amazon. It’s one of those things I do in stages - usually taking two or three things off the shelves at a time to add to the “selling” pile. My intention is to get rid of most of my books this year (hopefully reading them first). I’m not a book hoarder (I’m not really an anything hoarder!!) once I’ve read a book if I know I’m not going to refer back to it or read it again then it gets listed on Amazon. There are a couple of books I can’t get rid of such as the Miriam Stoppard pregnancy book I bought when pregnant with Robbie back in 1995. It was my bible throughout many of my pregnancies so I will keep it for sentimental reasons. I’ve got a lot of fiction I want to get read this year and it’s one of my intentions that I will read at least one a month.

Dinner was the traditional turkey roast and was lovely. We also had beef and pork (which I don’t like as I think it smells too piggy). I decided a while ago that I was going to eat whatever I liked on Christmas day and get back to the raw afterwards.

All in all it was a lovely day. I do feel a bit sad that we don’t have a family to come round and join us for Christmas but that’s the situation and we have to put up with it. And it does mean we can sit in our Pjs all day and not have to worry about keeping other people entertained or fed etc.

I worked on Boxing Day and was surprised to see how busy it was.

We didn’t do anything for New Year this year. We usually invite someone round but we decided we couldn’t be bothered this year - I know, we’re really unsociable!!

I’ve gradually got back into eating high raw again. It’s been hard, some days I just haven’t managed to eat raw at all, other days I’ve eaten 100% raw all day until dinner time then I’ve had something awful like pie and chips (which doesn’t help my wheat intolerance!!)

However, the last two days have been 100% raw which is really good. I feel that I need a few days to get rid of all the wheat and stuff from my system and then I can go back to high raw. I do have a bit of a problem with raw chocolate at the moment though. I can’t get enough of it. I feel that it can’t really be good for you, but it’s lovely. I bought some before Christmas and it was supposed to last me for a few months. I ate what I thought was the last bar this morning and was very pleased to find another one hidden away at the back of my drawer!!

I’ve just made some raw fudgey stuff that I found a recipe for on a forum I’m occasionally go on. I had the ingredients and decided to give it a go - oh my goodness!! It is sooo gorgeous but quite oily so I couldn’t manage much at a time. It won’t last long mind you, lol I think I will have to cut it into very small squares and limit myself to one a day.

As you know I am having a big clear out - I think this is just the first wave, and once I have got rid of most of what I’m trying to sell at the moment I will probably do another sweep of my stuff to see what else can go (keep on checking my for sale pages in case I list something you're after!!). I have a bit of a thing about “stuff”. I would love to do without it, just have the barest minimum of things but find it hard to let go of some things. My fabric for instance. Although I’m getting rid of loads, there is still lots more up there which will probably never get used. A lot of it I think “well, I might use that for something” but I probably never will.

I really want to declutter in a big way this year and be very brutal about it. I think part of my hating clutter and hoarding comes from when we took over our first house. The wardrobes in the master bedroom were full of shit. There were clothes hanging up in there that were put away dirty and they must have been there for years. There was a pile of coat hangers in a corner and the carpet under them was a different colour to the rest of it so they must have been there forever. There were tablets that were 20 years old, make up that was probably about the same age. It took me a couple of dozen bin liners to clear it all out.

We had the loft cleared out by a company as well. It took them TWO huge removal lorries to take it all away. It was only a standard size loft, not a huge mansion. There were empty cardboard boxes, broken chairs, and absolutely nothing worth keeping. I’m surprised the ceilings didn’t collapse on us under the weight of it all!!

Mind you, the people living there before were filthy filthy people. No cleaning had been done for years and years, it was disgusting.

Anyway, I digress. That’s one of my goals, to declutter. I’m also going to buy as little as I possibly can this year. I really want to pay off my credit card as quickly as possible so that’s another goal. I’m not going to promise to buy nothing because I don’t know if I can stick to it, but I am certainly going to think twice about everything I want to buy. And definitely no craft stuff, no fabric, no wool. At least not until I have used up everything I have and only if I have a definite project for it.

One of my things is beauty products - I have managed to stop myself buying them the way I used to and didn’t actually need to buy any shower gel in 2009 and what is still left will probably do me for most of 2010 (and bear in mind, I have a shower every morning so you can imagine how much I had stashed away!!!) I do like my premium brand products though so I will still buy them, but only as and when I need them. No stockpiling allowed. I’ve stopped my make-up buying habit as well which was hard at first. In fact, I think I will be doing another cull of what is left from the last clear-out (my 11 year old has the most fab make-up collection in her school I think, lol)

I know everyone wants to lose weight at New Year (or most people anyway) but that’s another one of my goals this year, to lose the final bit of baby weight gained when I was pregnant with Amos. My aim is to lose it by Easter which I believe is doable. I’m also going to get back into going to the gym as I was awful in November and December. I think I went about twice. It’s hard when it’s cold out though isn’t it? I need to just get changed and go and forget how cold it is outside. I was going to go tonight, even wrote it on the calendar and ended up messing about online all evening instead.

I am looking forward to posting my before and after photos here when I have reached my target.

I’ll be getting a new employer this year. We were told at work the other day that we’re closing at the end of next month. Whoever comes in will have to take us on if we want to stay so depending on who it is I’ll either still be working in the same place for a new company, or I’ll be looking for a job elsewhere. I’m not too worried, I know that the right job will come along at the right time.

I have other big stuff planned too. I don’t want to say too much at the moment, but I can feel big changes happening or at least starting to happen in 2010.

I hope your year is a good one. What are you hoping to achieve this year?

Talk to you again soon.

I’m sorry I haven’t blogged for a while. I have lots to write, and will get round to it very soon, I promise.

In the meantime though, I’ve been having a big clear-out and have listed a load of stuff for sale here I suspect this is only going to be the first of several sweep throughs of the house. There’s a lot of fabric listed if you’re after some, nappy patterns, craft stuff, Waldorfy stuff, all sorts. If you would like anything then please email me - I’m on AOL and the first part of my email address is . I’m sure you can work out the rest (clue @aol.com)

I have more news for you when I get round to writing it down. Hope you had a lovely Christmas and that 2010 is a great year for you.